Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Why is the "S" word such a big deal?
Single.... It has become that dreaded "S" word. Why has it become such a big deal? I just don't understand it. Yes, I am single but that does not make me who i am! Today it seems like if you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend then there must be something wrong with you. NOTHING IS WRONG!!!! I just haven't found someone yet that can handle my weird, awkward and wonderful self! But I am also not looking....
Far too often, single people go out looking for "relationships" because they are lonely and have to be attached to someone to feel complete. I use the word relationships very loosely because a fling or hookup is not considered a relationship! It is a fling or a hookup! A relationship is created when you care about a person's feelings and needs more than they care about yours and in return the other person has the same care. A relationship must be built over time, that much needed time is not included in flings and hookups.
Each new thing that you learn about a person is a brick that is added to your relationship. Some bricks are beautiful and you love them for their quality while other bricks may be cracked or covered in mud. The pretty ones are the characteristics in a person that you like and the ugly ones are the characteristics you don't like. When you have built up a nice size wall of bricks, you have to look at it with scrutiny. See the wonderful bricks and the not so wonderful bricks and decide if you would want to add that wall to your wall. Don't look past all of the ugly bricks because that makes up the wall!
Sometimes we don't step back to see the wall and we build it hastily and sloppily. The end result is not pretty! The wall falls down and ends up hurting someone! So don't rush into things! You have your whole life in front of you to discover each other's quirks and characteristics so why rush that and get bored! No one likes to be bored!
I have only been in one relationship but i don't really even like to call it a relationship because it only lasted a month and I rushed into it. I was just so excited to have a "boyfriend" but I didn't look at the bricks of his life and the wall fell. I was the one that got hurt but that's ok. When you get hurt, you can do two things. You can learn from your mistakes or you can become bitter. I chose to learn and now I always step back to see the whole wall.
I don't know why but the whole subject of relationships and singleness has been coming up a lot.... maybe God is trying to tell me to stop worrying about finding "Mr. Right" because I already have my King of kings!
So I encourage you to take a step back from your life. All of you that are in a relationship, look at the other person's wall. Make sure that it is one you want to add to yours. If it is, congratulations! You have found a wonderful relationship. Now strive to keep God at the center of it! If it is not, look at the reasons why you don't want to add it. If you aren't going to be happy, stop fooling someone else with false feelings! You should get out of the relationship because it will only result in the wall falling! To all my single friends, you are SINGLE!!!! Use your time wisely by bettering yourself! You don't have anyone taking up your time and you have no one to answer to! I know, I know.... You know you have freedom but you want to be in a relationship! That is completely ok! I think deep down everyone wants to feel like someone wants them. Well, there is someone that wants you! God wants you! You can do so many things for Him in your time of singleness. Get a group of friends together to do some mission work, join a bible study group, get involved in a church program, just do something! and who knows, you may meet your future spouse in one of those things! God has not put anyone in your life for a reason, you were meant to do great things and somehow those great things just can't be accomplished by you being in a relationship right now! So just.... WAIT! Its really tough! I know how you feel! But God will sustain us and keep us in His hand! The "S" word should not be a big deal, so don't make it one! You are wonderful just as you are! Much love from me but even greater love from God! :)
Far too often, single people go out looking for "relationships" because they are lonely and have to be attached to someone to feel complete. I use the word relationships very loosely because a fling or hookup is not considered a relationship! It is a fling or a hookup! A relationship is created when you care about a person's feelings and needs more than they care about yours and in return the other person has the same care. A relationship must be built over time, that much needed time is not included in flings and hookups.
Each new thing that you learn about a person is a brick that is added to your relationship. Some bricks are beautiful and you love them for their quality while other bricks may be cracked or covered in mud. The pretty ones are the characteristics in a person that you like and the ugly ones are the characteristics you don't like. When you have built up a nice size wall of bricks, you have to look at it with scrutiny. See the wonderful bricks and the not so wonderful bricks and decide if you would want to add that wall to your wall. Don't look past all of the ugly bricks because that makes up the wall!
Sometimes we don't step back to see the wall and we build it hastily and sloppily. The end result is not pretty! The wall falls down and ends up hurting someone! So don't rush into things! You have your whole life in front of you to discover each other's quirks and characteristics so why rush that and get bored! No one likes to be bored!
I have only been in one relationship but i don't really even like to call it a relationship because it only lasted a month and I rushed into it. I was just so excited to have a "boyfriend" but I didn't look at the bricks of his life and the wall fell. I was the one that got hurt but that's ok. When you get hurt, you can do two things. You can learn from your mistakes or you can become bitter. I chose to learn and now I always step back to see the whole wall.
I don't know why but the whole subject of relationships and singleness has been coming up a lot.... maybe God is trying to tell me to stop worrying about finding "Mr. Right" because I already have my King of kings!
So I encourage you to take a step back from your life. All of you that are in a relationship, look at the other person's wall. Make sure that it is one you want to add to yours. If it is, congratulations! You have found a wonderful relationship. Now strive to keep God at the center of it! If it is not, look at the reasons why you don't want to add it. If you aren't going to be happy, stop fooling someone else with false feelings! You should get out of the relationship because it will only result in the wall falling! To all my single friends, you are SINGLE!!!! Use your time wisely by bettering yourself! You don't have anyone taking up your time and you have no one to answer to! I know, I know.... You know you have freedom but you want to be in a relationship! That is completely ok! I think deep down everyone wants to feel like someone wants them. Well, there is someone that wants you! God wants you! You can do so many things for Him in your time of singleness. Get a group of friends together to do some mission work, join a bible study group, get involved in a church program, just do something! and who knows, you may meet your future spouse in one of those things! God has not put anyone in your life for a reason, you were meant to do great things and somehow those great things just can't be accomplished by you being in a relationship right now! So just.... WAIT! Its really tough! I know how you feel! But God will sustain us and keep us in His hand! The "S" word should not be a big deal, so don't make it one! You are wonderful just as you are! Much love from me but even greater love from God! :)
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
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