just so you know, this is completely fictional. none of this is true. it is for my acting class.
I have always had a spot in my heart for babies. Growing up, it was my dream to work in an orphanage one day in a far off exotic place. That dream changed when I was 15. It was 15 when I became pregnant by my boyfriend at the time. When I told him, he bolted. I could not tell my parents. They would have killed me on the spot. My dad was a pastor and my mom was a Sunday school teacher. Both of my parents were high standing individuals in the community. To have their daughter pregnant at 15 would be a huge disgrace. They would be the laughing stock of the town. I knew I had to get rid of the baby. I searched all over to find an abortion clinic where I knew no one would recognize me. I had to take the bus two towns over. I ended up in the slums. I knew that absolutely no one from my church or my town would recognize me. I was scared to death. I walked into the clinic with my wobbly knees and shaking hands. I almost burst into tears uncontrollably. My tears were forced back. I had to be strong. As I sat in the waiting room, it felt as though the walls started closing in. I felt like I could not breathe. It felt like there was a one hundred pound bag of flour on my back weighing me down. I had to get out of there and fast. I stepped out to get some air. Little did I know, there was a woman who followed me out. She was an older woman, maybe in her late 60s. She sat with me on the curb. She didn’t say a word. We just sat there. I felt uncomfortable because I just knew she was one of those Bible pushing maniacs trying to tell me about how God hates murderers. I knew she was judging me, she was thinking about how the Hell fires would swallow me up if I did not repent and turn away from my sin. I felt that way until I turned to her. Her piercing blue eyes saw right into my soul. Her soft smile filled her face. It was then that I saw a tear in her eye. I knew she was not there to condemn me but to comfort me. She wrapped her arms around me and I lost it. I started crying and I could not stop. Over the sound of my sobs, I could hear her saying, “I know you are scared honey. It’s going to be alright. Calm down. You are safe with me. There is no need to be afraid.” She only said encouraging and comforting words. I then told her my story. For some strange reason, it felt right to tell her. I knew she would not judge me and I knew she was there to listen. She told me about the options I had. I could put my baby up for adoption and if I wanted to, I could have an open adoption, or I could raise the baby myself. She told me if I chose to raise it myself that there were programs to help me get through school and to help me get a job. I knew that both of these options involved me telling my parents and disappointing them. I felt like having an abortion would be the only way to avoid disappointing them. She told me “Please don’t get an abortion. I know I can’t make you do anything but I don’t want you to go through with it. It will be a decision you will regret for the rest of your life. You will sit and wonder all of the what ifs. You will wish you could go back and change it all.” She then told me her story of how she had an abortion. She told me that there was not a day that went by where she didn’t wonder what would have happened if she had not done it. She gave me the pamphlets with the information about adoption. She hugged me and whispered in my ear “God will still love you whatever your decision may be.” She walked to her car and left. I sat on the curb for what seemed like hours, contemplating all of my options. I knew that I could not go through with the abortion. I did not want to have the regret and sorrow hanging over my head. I would have to face the disappointment of my family. They were fully supportive and forgiving which was unexpected. I was going to give my baby up for adoption at the beginning of my pregnancy but I changed my mind. There was a bond that had grown between my baby and I. I kept my baby and raised her with the help of my parents. I have made it my mission to help girls who are going through what I went through. I go around to abortion clinics doing just what that old lady did for me, she listened. I hope to show young girls the options they have. It was on a normal work day when a young girl caught my eye. I felt like I had to talk to her so…. i went to talk to her and she accepted my help.
i thought it could make you think.... about how aren't you glad you weren't killed as a baby because your mom didn't want you? or aren't you glad God is always there for us and how He has divine appointments set up? or maybe just about your calling in life, what has God called you to do? remember, God will still love you no matter what you do!! :)
I have always had a spot in my heart for babies. Growing up, it was my dream to work in an orphanage one day in a far off exotic place. That dream changed when I was 15. It was 15 when I became pregnant by my boyfriend at the time. When I told him, he bolted. I could not tell my parents. They would have killed me on the spot. My dad was a pastor and my mom was a Sunday school teacher. Both of my parents were high standing individuals in the community. To have their daughter pregnant at 15 would be a huge disgrace. They would be the laughing stock of the town. I knew I had to get rid of the baby. I searched all over to find an abortion clinic where I knew no one would recognize me. I had to take the bus two towns over. I ended up in the slums. I knew that absolutely no one from my church or my town would recognize me. I was scared to death. I walked into the clinic with my wobbly knees and shaking hands. I almost burst into tears uncontrollably. My tears were forced back. I had to be strong. As I sat in the waiting room, it felt as though the walls started closing in. I felt like I could not breathe. It felt like there was a one hundred pound bag of flour on my back weighing me down. I had to get out of there and fast. I stepped out to get some air. Little did I know, there was a woman who followed me out. She was an older woman, maybe in her late 60s. She sat with me on the curb. She didn’t say a word. We just sat there. I felt uncomfortable because I just knew she was one of those Bible pushing maniacs trying to tell me about how God hates murderers. I knew she was judging me, she was thinking about how the Hell fires would swallow me up if I did not repent and turn away from my sin. I felt that way until I turned to her. Her piercing blue eyes saw right into my soul. Her soft smile filled her face. It was then that I saw a tear in her eye. I knew she was not there to condemn me but to comfort me. She wrapped her arms around me and I lost it. I started crying and I could not stop. Over the sound of my sobs, I could hear her saying, “I know you are scared honey. It’s going to be alright. Calm down. You are safe with me. There is no need to be afraid.” She only said encouraging and comforting words. I then told her my story. For some strange reason, it felt right to tell her. I knew she would not judge me and I knew she was there to listen. She told me about the options I had. I could put my baby up for adoption and if I wanted to, I could have an open adoption, or I could raise the baby myself. She told me if I chose to raise it myself that there were programs to help me get through school and to help me get a job. I knew that both of these options involved me telling my parents and disappointing them. I felt like having an abortion would be the only way to avoid disappointing them. She told me “Please don’t get an abortion. I know I can’t make you do anything but I don’t want you to go through with it. It will be a decision you will regret for the rest of your life. You will sit and wonder all of the what ifs. You will wish you could go back and change it all.” She then told me her story of how she had an abortion. She told me that there was not a day that went by where she didn’t wonder what would have happened if she had not done it. She gave me the pamphlets with the information about adoption. She hugged me and whispered in my ear “God will still love you whatever your decision may be.” She walked to her car and left. I sat on the curb for what seemed like hours, contemplating all of my options. I knew that I could not go through with the abortion. I did not want to have the regret and sorrow hanging over my head. I would have to face the disappointment of my family. They were fully supportive and forgiving which was unexpected. I was going to give my baby up for adoption at the beginning of my pregnancy but I changed my mind. There was a bond that had grown between my baby and I. I kept my baby and raised her with the help of my parents. I have made it my mission to help girls who are going through what I went through. I go around to abortion clinics doing just what that old lady did for me, she listened. I hope to show young girls the options they have. It was on a normal work day when a young girl caught my eye. I felt like I had to talk to her so…. i went to talk to her and she accepted my help.
i thought it could make you think.... about how aren't you glad you weren't killed as a baby because your mom didn't want you? or aren't you glad God is always there for us and how He has divine appointments set up? or maybe just about your calling in life, what has God called you to do? remember, God will still love you no matter what you do!! :)
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